Good sexual health is important for older people for several physical, emotional, and social reasons. As people age, intimacy and sexuality can remain a meaningful part of life, contributing to overall wellbeing. The following sections provide information and guidance on how sex later in life can still be enjoyable and the benefits it brings.
- Vaginal Dryness and Orgasms
Some women experience vaginal dryness after the menopause. This can cause pain during sex. Using a vaginal moisturiser or lubricant might help.
Some kinds of soap and shower gel can make vaginal dryness worse. It's best to avoid using them on that part of your body – just warm water is enough.
After menopause the vaginal walls become thinner making sex more painful and orgasms can become less intense and take longer to achieve. Using lubrication can help to alleviate this and make sex more comfortable. If nothing you try works for your please speak to your doctor as there are other options available on prescription.
- Erection problems
Most men experience erection problems as they get older. You can often alleviate these by making simple lifestyle changes – such as losing weight or quitting smoking.
If erection problems persist, speak to your doctor. They might prescribe you medication to help.
As we age our sex drive and desire can become lower and can lead to feelings of frustration and rejection. This can be as a result of health conditions, types of medication being used and changes in hormones. This is normal but with the right support and by talking about your concerns with your partner, enjoyment and intimacy can be found in other ways.
- My Physical Health & Sex
Cardiovascular and Hormonal Benefits: Regular sexual activity can promote heart health and help maintain hormone balance, which supports bone health, mood, and sleep.
Pelvic Floor and Muscle Tone: For both men and women, sexual activity can help maintain pelvic muscle strength and function.
Immune Function: Some studies suggest sexual activity may boost the immune system, helping older adults resist illness.
- My Mental and Emotional Wellbeing & Sex
Reduces Depression and Anxiety: Intimacy and connection can help alleviate loneliness and depression, which are common issues in later life.
Enhances Self-Esteem: Continued sexual activity or intimacy can promote a positive self-image and reinforce a sense of identity and vitality.
Cognitive Benefits: Some evidence links sexual activity with improved cognitive function in older adults.
- My Sexual Relationship Quality
Strengthens Bonds: Sexual intimacy can help partners maintain closeness, reduce conflict, and provide emotional security.
Adaptation to Life Changes: Intimacy can help couples adjust to major life changes like retirement, bereavement, or health challenges.
New relationships after divorce can lead to feeling self-conscious; it’s important to be open and discuss with new partners your sexual likes/dislikes as well as your concerns about having sex again.
- Enjoying Sex and staying well
Sexual activity doesn’t have to be about penetrative sex
Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs): Rates of STIs among older adults in the UK have been rising. Awareness and regular sexual health check-ups are important. It is also especially important to talk about sexual history with a new partner.
Sefton sexual health can support to enjoy a fulfilling sex life and stay healthy. This includes accessing free condoms and the testing and treatment of STIs as well as psychosexual therapy support.
Older people can absolutely enjoy intimacy — and often in deeper, more meaningful ways than earlier in life. Intimacy doesn’t only mean sex; it includes emotional closeness, affectionate touch, companionship, and mutual trust. Here’s how older adults can enjoy intimacy in various forms:
Emotional Intimacy
Deep conversations: Sharing life stories, values, and feelings fosters connection.
Quality time: Doing things together like cooking, walking, or watching movies strengthens bonds.
Expressing affection: Saying “I love you,” showing appreciation, and being emotionally available.
Physical Touch
Non-sexual touch: Holding hands, cuddling, back rubs, and gentle massages can be just as meaningful.
Sleeping close: Simply lying in bed together, touching, or spooning brings comfort and connection.
Kissing and caressing: These can still be erotic and tender, even if sex isn’t part of it.
Sexual Intimacy (if desired)
Redefining sex: Intimacy can include touching, oral sex, mutual pleasuring, or just sensual touch.
Going slow: Aging bodies may respond differently, so taking time matters.
Using aids: Lubricants, pillows for comfort, and even toys or medications (if wanted) can help.
Communication
Open dialogue: Talk about desires, changes in the body, and emotional needs without shame.
Honest vulnerability: Being open about insecurities or fears can deepen trust and closeness.
Creativity and Adaptation
Try new things: Explore new ways of being intimate—like taking a bath together or giving each other a massage.
Adjust expectations: Intimacy might look different than it did at 25—and that’s okay. It can be richer.
Connection Beyond the Physical
Spiritual intimacy: Sharing beliefs, meditating together, or practicing gratitude can bring closeness.
Playfulness: Laughing, dancing in the living room, or sharing inside jokes all foster intimacy.
- Further Information