Puberty / Let’s go back to basics
Before we start giving advice on how to talk to your child about sex and relationships, some may find it helpful to go back to basics, after all, it's been a long time since most of us thought about puberty. Even after a quick brush-up, it's important to be honest if you don't know the answer to the question; you can find out the correct answer and get back to them or search for the answer together.
- What is puberty?
Puberty is when a child's body develops into adulthood and reaches sexual maturity. Not all children start puberty at the same age, some may start much earlier or later than others. Most children will usually start between 8 – 14 years old. Some children experience early puberty or delayed puberty, meaning they will begin puberty earlier or later than their peers.
Puberty affects children both physically and emotionally. Hormonal changes can impact both positively and negatively, causing mood swings, including intense emotions of love, happiness, sadness, and rage.
Some signs that your child is going through puberty:
- Periods,
- Body odour,
- Hair growth - facial, pubic, leg and underarm,
- Growth spurt,
- Skin changes such as acne,
- Breast growth, most common in females,
- Penis and testicle growth,
- Deepening of voice in males.
- What if my child starts puberty early or later than others?
While most children start puberty between the ages of 8-14 years old, some children may start earlier or later.
Early puberty, also called precocious puberty, occurs when a child begins puberty before 8 years old. It is always possible to find the cause, but sometimes can be caused by a genetic disorder, brain damage or abnormalities such as brain tumour or infection, or problems with the ovaries or thyroid gland.
Delayed puberty is when boys have no signs of testicular development by the age of 14 or if a girl has not started to develop breasts by the age of 13 or their periods have not started by the age of 15. It is sometimes not possible to find the causes of delayed puberty and most children will eventually begin puberty. However, in some cases, delayed puberty is caused by a long-term illness, malnutrition, genetic condition, disorder of sexual development, or a problem with the ovaries, testes, thyroid or pituitary gland.
If early or delayed puberty is thought to impact the child emotionally or physically, medication may be given to reduce hormone levels and medically delay or start the onset of puberty. For children experiencing early puberty to an underlined medical condition, treating the underlying causes will usually help delay or start puberty.
Puberty and Trans young people
Puberty is a confusing and difficult time for most young people, but for trans or non-binary people, puberty can be a time of particular distress as their bodies may be developing in a way that conflicts with their preferred gender identity.
- How can parents help during puberty?
Puberty can be a confusing and frightening time for some children. They may need reassurance that what is happening is normal and sometimes need both emotional and practical support, for example:
- Listening Do they need advice or do they just want someone to listen?
- A shoulder to cry on Sometimes literally, puberty can cause hormonal changes leading to emotional outbursts.
- Support in purchasing sanitary products The number of brands and types can be confusing! It is also very important to remind them how often they should change, especially with tampons.
- Encouraging physical self-care Your child may need to start showering more often and start using deodorant. Skin changes can be particularly distressing so discussing skincare routines may be useful.
- Encourage emotional self-care Remember this may be different for everyone. Some may benefit from a diary, meditation, and mindfulness while for others, playing footie with their mates or watching TV with family may help their emotional wellbeing. It's more about the outcome rather than the act.
- Offer reassurance that what is happening to their body is normal. However, if you are concerned about your child's development discuss this with their GP.
The NSPCC have created a helpful booklet particularly for parents and carers of children and young people with a learning disability.