Relationships

Sex and sexuality can be an important part of a healthy relationship However, it can also be one aspect of an unhealthy relationship. It is important to know what makes a healthy relationship and what the signs are of an unhealthy relationship and where you can go for help and advice.

Some people experiencing problems may wish to ask their GP to refer them into our Psychosexual Therapy Service. On this page you will find the criteria required for a referral.

• Unhealthy relationships

  There are some signs to look for in a relationship that could mean it is unhealthy. You may be happy some of the time, but if you feel scared or uncomfortable at any point during the relationship, it may be time to think about whether to continue with it.

  There are many different forms of abuse, not just physical but emotional and mental. Threats or intimidation can be just as serious as physically hurting someone.

  There are some signs that your relationship could be abusive. Your partner may:

  • physically hurt you when they are angry
  • get angry, jealous or suspicious when you see other people such as family or friends
  • check your texts and emails
  • tell you what where you can go, who you can see and what you can wear
  • pressurise you to have sex or do things you don’t want to do
  • threaten you, call you names or put you down
  • pressure you into taking or sharing intimate photos of yourself
  • criticise the way you look
  • take your money or possessions
  • say they’re sorry and promise they’ll change

  If someone is doing one or more of these things to you, you should get some support. You are not to blame and you are not alone.

  It is important to remember that being under the influence of drugs or alcohol is not an excuse for someone to be abusive to their partner.

  Sex should be something you enjoy together, and that you are comfortable with. Your partner should not try and persuade you to do something sexual that you don’t want to do. You must fully agree to any sexual act – even when you’ve had sex with them before.

  There is also some information available online about abuse

• Staying safe in relationships

  This information is mainly for people aged under 19 years old. However, the same advice applies to people of all ages!

  • Sexting

    When someone takes an explicit (revealing) image of themselves and sends it onto friends or a boy/girlfriend via a mobile phone or another form of technology is referred to as ‘sexting’. This may seem fun and exciting but it comes with risks.

    Once the images have been taken and sent to others, all control is lost by the person and the images can end up anywhere. Your partner that you trust now may become an ex and what might they do with the picture once you have split up? The image may be seen by friends, family members, a future employer and even in some cases in possession of an offender.

    This puts the person who took the picture in a vulnerable position as someone they may or not know have the images and could use technology to bully, harass or even try to locate them.

    THINK – if you wouldn’t print the images and pass them to friends and family members, they are NOT appropriate to share via a mobile phone, email or another technology.

    Think U Know has a good page on sexting here

  • Staying Safe Online

    The internet is a great way to stay in contact with friends however it is very important to stay safe.

    1. When you choose a profile picture which might be put on social media accounts such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, avoid putting photos up which could give strangers an idea of where you live.
    2. Check your privacy settings regularly
    3. Check your location settings, some social media sites and apps such as Facebook and Snapchat, let you share your location with other users
    4. Think before you post.
    5. Never share or reveal passwords.
    6. Be careful who you talk to.
    7. If someone adds you on a social media site or chat site who you don’t know, ignore them and delete their request.
    8. Don’t share personal information like your address or phone number with anyone you don’t know.
  • What is grooming?

    A ‘groomer’ is someone who makes an emotional connection with someone and tries to make them do things such as:

    • have a sexual conversation online or by text message
    • send naked images of yourself, this is sometimes known as sexting
    • send sexual videos of yourself
    • do something sexual live on a webcam
    • meet up with them in person
    • They may be old or young and they can also be male or female.
  • What to do if you think you are being groomed

    If you think you’re being groomed don’t worry about getting into trouble, you haven’t done anything wrong. You can report your concerns by:

    You can report the adult or stranger by clicking a CEOP link which will take you to the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Command (CEOP)

    You can report an adult or stranger if they’ve sent you a sexual message, asked you to send one or sent anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or asked you to meet up with them.

    For more information

    • Sefton Safeguarding Children Board
    • Childline
    • NSPCC
    • Brook
• Healthy Relationships

  Healthy relationships are happy ones. It is important to know what constitutes a healthy relationship. Not everyone is happy all the time, and arguments are part and parcel of relationships, but there are some general signs of a healthy, equal relationship, whereby your partner:

  listens to you and values your opinion respects your feelings trusts you is happy for you to spend time with your own friends would never physically hurt you would never call you names, threaten you or make you feel bad makes you feel comfortable and safe to be yourself accepts when you say no to things you don’t want to do never tries to control who you see, where you go or what you wear

  Not all relationships involve sex. However, if you do choose to have sex, it should be something you do once you are both ready, and you should both enjoy it.

  Check out this extra information on other important things like consent, sex for the first time, are you ready for sex and peer pressure.

  Find out how to ensure you have safer sex and safer relationships. If you are worried your relationship is abusive, there are places you can go to get help.