The internet provides independence for young people to source information rapidly. The possibilities are endless but the internet is not filtered. Technology also exposes young people to harmful people and content possibly leading to irreversible damage. Research commissioned by the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC)* shows that children and teenagers are watching and stumbling across pornography from an early age - in some cases as young as seven or eight. The majority of young people's first time watching pornography was accidental, with over 60% of children 11-13 who had seen pornography saying their viewing of pornography is unintentional.
- I caught my child watching porn, is there something wrong with them?
While many people may view porn for the first time accidentally, there are many that choose to watch it intentionally. It can help to understand why your child has watched porn in the first place. If it was accidental and they stumbled across it on the internet, it may have been a frightening experience. Some porn is graphic and violent; it may leave the child feeling confused and scared. For more information on what to do if your child has seen explicit images online please click here.
Children and young people may intentionally watch porn to:
Learn. They may be curious about sex and use it as a form of sex education.
Explore their sexuality. They may use porn to discover their newly discovered sexuality or even to explore their sexual preferences including sexual orientation.
For fun. With porn so easily accessible, young people may watch it together for shock value or to impress their friends.
Peer pressure. Sometimes children can be directly pressured into watching porn or even just feel like everyone else is watching so they should do it – they may feel it's normal or expected.
Regardless of the reasons for watching porn, there are a few things you should discuss with your child:
- The law. Firstly you have to be 18 and over to watch online porn in England. Extreme pornography is also illegal regardless of the viewers' age. (Link to other website section).
- Expectations. Explain that porn doesn't present 'regular' sex and what they have seen is professional actors being paid to have sex in a particular way. This is usually in more exaggerated and often violent way.
- Consent. Some pornography depicts non-consensual sex, no matter how it may look; actors give their consent before filming. Reiterate the importance of consensual sex in relationships.
- Reassure and educate. Reassure them that watching porn isn't shameful nor does it make them a bad person but be honest and explain why you have concerns about porn.
- Should I be concerned if my child watches porn?
Pornography can influence the behaviour and attitude of the viewer. It can provide children with unrealistic expectations of sex and relationships. Not only can this be confusing, but it can also be harmful to positive healthy relationships. Young people could experience a range of risks from viewing porn as they can portray:
- unrealistic expectations of body image and performance, which could leave young people questioning their shape, size, and overall appearance
- more casual attitudes towards sex and relationships which don't reflect messages about love and consent
- more risky or violent sexual behaviours, which if seen without appropriate relationship and sex education might leave a young person with a warped attitude towards the sexual behaviour they expect to experience
- unrealistic attitudes towards gender roles and identities in relationships; often showing women as always 'up for it' and men as dominant
- adult, violent or discriminatory language about sexual behaviour, relationships, and gender
For more information about online pornography please click here
- What is being done to stop my child from watching porn online?
In 2019, the UK became the first country in the world to bring in age-verification for online pornography. This means people will be forced to provide identification to prove they are over 18 before watching online pornography.
* https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-us/news/children-see-pornography-as-young-as-seven-new-report-finds
There are steps you can take to help protect your child online. Click here to see online safety section.