Sexuality

Sexuality (or sexual orientation) is about who you are attracted to both physically and emotionally.

There is no set age that people get to know their emotional and sexual feelings and it might take some time to work out what your sexual orientation is. Your sexual orientation might also change over time.

• What is sexuality?

  Sexuality (or sexual orientation) is about who you are attracted to both physically and emotionally. Sexuality is very diverse, some are attracted to people of the opposite gender, some are attracted to people of the same gender, some are attracted to more than one gender and some aren’t attracted to anyone. There are many different kinds of sexuality and you can read more about these on the LGBTQI+ pages. There is no “normal” sexuality, everyone is unique.

• How long does it take to work out your sexuality?

  There is no set age that people get to know their emotional and sexual feelings and it might take some time to work out what your sexual orientation is. Just remember that you do not have to feel rushed or pressured into giving yourself a label – take everything at your own pace! Your sexual orientation might also change over time and this is a common experience. You can also understand your sexual orientation before you are ready to have sex.

• What is the difference between gender identity and sexuality?

  Gender identity is distinct from sexual orientation. It refers to a person’s innate deeply felt psychological identification as a man, woman or other gender. This may be the same or different to the sex assigned at birth. More information on gender identity can be found here.

• What is the difference between romantic orientation and sexual orientation?

  Romantic orientation indicates the gender with which a person is likely to have a relationship or fall in love. This does not necessarily have to involve sex. This means that some people can have different sexual and romantic orientations, based on the perspective that sexual attraction is just a single component of a larger dynamic. For example, someone might be sexually attracted to more than one gender (bisexual) but might only be able to see themselves in a romantic relationship with someone of the same gender (homoromantic).

• LGBTQI+

  

  Here we look at some specific issues around sex, relationships and sexual health for people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or questioning (LGBTQ), including where you can go to get help and support if you are suffering from discrimination due to your sexual orientation.

  For more information on sexuality see our Sexuality pages here

• Sexual Health for Gay/Bi Men & MSM (men who have sex with men)

  Anyone who is sexually active is at risk from STIs if they have unprotected sex. Gay and bisexual men are a group at greatest risk of HIV in the UK and are also at increased risk from other STIs. It is recommended that you book a full STI screening every three to six months or after changing partner. This is especially important if you have sexual partners who do not know their HIV status. There are ways in which you can help minimise the risk of catching a STIs by: 

  • Using condoms, lube and for oral sex, you could use a dental dam. These can help prevent STIs. You can get FREE condoms, and lube through local condom distribution schemes or order them online.
  • If you're using sex toys, use a new condom for each partner or between penetration of different orifices. Sex toys should be washed with soap and water between sessions.
  • Avoid oral sex if either of you has any cuts or sores in the mouth or on the lips or use a dental dam. A dental dam is a latex or polyurethane (very thin, soft plastic) square which you can use to cover the anus during oral sex (rimming). It acts as a barrier to help prevent sexually transmitted infections passing from one person to another. (You can make your own by Unrolling the condom, cut the tip off, then cut it lengthwise to unroll it into a rectangle. Use the lubricated side against the anus, or if flavoured, the flavoured side against your mouth. (When sharing sex toys, use a condom on the sex toy, and change this every time you switch user.)
  • Infections can be passed on by hands and fingers. Wash your hands before and after sex. 
  • Wear latex gloves and use plenty of water-based lubricant anal fisting. 
  • Vaccines: The human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine’s is available for men who have sex with men (MSM) up to and including 45 years of age. The vaccine will help prevent HPV infection, which can cause genital warts and certain types of cancer. It’s especially important for those who are living with HIV, and those who’ve more than one sexual partner. Hepatitis B vaccination It's also offered to people thought to be at increased risk of getting hepatitis B or its complications. The vaccine gives protection against the hepatitis B virus, which is a major cause of serious liver disease, including scarring of the liver (cirrhosis) and liver cancer.
  • PrEP is short for Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis. It involves taking pills containing the drugs Tenofovir and Emtricitabine. You need to take it before having sex for it to work. Studies show that if PrEP is taken correctly, the chances of getting HIV while you’re on it are almost zero. It’s a really powerful tool for helping prevent new HIV infections. It can’t protect you against other sexually transmitted infections like gonorrhoea and syphilis.
  • Post-exposure Prophylaxis or PEP that you can take to help prevent you from HIV if you think you have been exposed. The quicker you take it; the more effective the treatment; PEP must be started within 72 hours of the unprotected sex. PEP can be accessed from any sexual health clinic or from A&E departments at local hospitals
• Sexual Health for Lesbian, Bisexual and women who have sex with women (WSW)

  When deciding whether to have protected or unprotected sex with someone, it’s a good idea to be informed about the risk factors involved in different types of sex. British Association for Sexual Health and HIV (BAASH) guidelines says non-penetrative contact carries the lowest risk, but no sexual contact is without risk. For penetrative sex (such as fingering, using sex toys and fisting) the risk of transmission is related to the amount of trauma – i.e. if there is friction or aberration (tiny cuts). Risk is also related to if you or your partner(s) have an STI – Remember you won’t necessarily know if you have a STI unless you test for them! Tips for safer sex between women:

  • If you're using sex toys, use a new condom for each partner or between penetration of different orifices. Sex toys should be washed with soap and water between sessions.
  • Avoid oral sex if either of you has any cuts or sores in the mouth or on the lips or use a dental dam. A dental dam is a latex or polyurethane (very thin, soft plastic) square which you can use to cover the anus or genitals during oral sex. It acts as a barrier to help prevent sexually transmitted infections passing from one person to another. (You can make your own by Unrolling the condom, cut the tip off, then cut it lengthwise to unroll it into a rectangle. Use the lubricated side against the vulva, or if flavoured, the flavoured side against your mouth (note: flavours can irritate the vulva!) When sharing sex toys, use a condom on the sex toy, and change this every time you switch user.)
  • Infections can be passed on by hands, fingers and mutual vulvar rubbing. Wash your hands before and after sex.
  • Wear latex gloves and use plenty of water-based lubricant for vaginal and anal fisting. 

  Don’t forget to go for your smear test!

  There is a heteronormative notion that you don’t need to get a smear test unless you’ve had/are having penetrative sex with a penis. This isn’t true! HPV, the virus which can cause cervical cancer, can be transmitted via oral sex, sharing sex toys and genital contact. HPV is very common, and most people will have it at some point in their life but clear it without symptoms. Because it’s so common it’s important to always go for your smear test!  So if you are due one or have never been for one, what are you waiting for, call your GP and get it booked!

• Supporting Transgender Service Users

  The Sexual Health Service is committed to ensuring that all our service users feel welcome. We know that if you are transgender accessing health services can sometimes be difficult or daunting. You may have had negative experiences in the past or have heard that some NHS services are not trans-inclusive. We promise not to make assumptions about your gender or to bring gender into the conversation if it is not relevant to your treatment. We also promise not to make assumptions about your gender based on the treatment you need. However, in sexual health, we may need to ask questions about your gender assigned at birth, and, for example, about whether you have had gender reassignment surgery or hormone treatment, so that we can ensure you get the right treatment. We promise to do this in a sensitive and discreet way.